According to Webster's School Dictionary, adolescence is defined as the state or process of growing up whereas the term teen is defined as the years 13 through 19. Adolescence is the period of maturation of which we are speaking when we bemoan "the teenage years." The adolescent stage generally overlaps the teen years but may begin earlier or end later. Basically it is the tumultuous phase of growth that parents tend to dread. But it doesn't have to be that way.

The adolescent metamorphosis is similar to that of a butterfly. The caterpillar (child) spins a cocoon (adolescent) in which to hide in order to grow wings and become a butterfly (adult). But unlike the cocoon stage, the adolescent doesn't hide his development. Rather, he experiences it in full view of the world. And these growth pains affect the entire family, and collectively, the world. If you expect to come out of this period of growth with your relationship with your child unchanged--forget it. It's not going to happen. But if you handle the problems unique to the adolescent phase with grace and maturity a healthy, mature, and independent relationship with your newly formed adult child will develop. (The pains associated with adolescence are also compared to the pains of child birth. When both pains are over there is a new person in your home.)

The main purpose of adolescence is to define the child's identity. During this phase of growth, children truly do not know who they are so how can parents possibly understand them? The key to surviving these turbulent years is to understand the process of growth that your child is undergoing.

According to William J. Kerewsky (1991) biological changes account for many of the distressing feelings and growth pains that an adolescent will encounter. Early in this phase of growth there may be a great deal of physical energy followed by periods of low energy, which is commonly mistaken by parents as laziness. But there is a medical explanation. The heart and lungs begin to increase their capacity to process the flow of blood and oxygen throughout the body which is seen as an increase in energy. But the child, unaccustomed to this much energy, tends to use it unwisely and tires the body out, leading to periods of inactivity and a desire for rest. The need for extra sleep usually increases during the teenage years. According to Linda Foust (1996) recent studies show that adolescent biological clocks naturally reprogram to accommodate for this extra need. So instead of being upset because the teenager can't seem to wake up in the morning anymore, try to find ways to change their sleep schedule to accomodate this natural phenomenon. (Letting them sleep as long as they want on weekends may help.)

As a child enters puberty hormonal changes race through the body. Boys have many embarrassing moments as the voice begins to deepen and change, facial and body hair appear and body structure itself becomes more muscular. Girls develop breasts and begin their menstrual cycles. The hips widen (already preparing for childbirth) and features become softer and more rounded. Both sexes begin to experience sexual urges also attributed to hormonal changes. As a result many teens become anxious about their physical attractiveness and many other insecurities begin to surface.

Growing pains may also have a medical basis. Growth tends to come in spurts and is not a coordinated activity. Kerewsky (1991) explains that childrens' bones and muscles grow at different rates during early adolescence. This often creates a clumsy gait and many teens say they feel uncomfortable in their own bodies. This is also the reason many teens find it difficult to sit still for long periods of time and find strange reasons to get up and move around at home, church, or school.

Adolescence is a very self-centered stage of growth. Since the major purpose of the adolescent phase is to define identity, the child must concentrate on self in order to know self. The intent is not to be selfish. It is just a natural part of the game. Teens generally feel that the world evolves around their wants and needs. If it doesn't, then it should. But in reality life is a series of compromises. And compromise is a learned skill.

Traits of Young Adolescents: